Common Writing Mistakes: Being Overly Descriptive
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If your writing tends to be overly descriptive or you’ve been told you have purple prose, read on!
Description drops color and stamps texture into the world of your book. Like the furniture of a house, description showcases your individual style, your writing voice. Adjectives and detail usher readers into the story, bringing them as close as possible to seeing it through your eyes.
However, description can become a weakness if it’s not used wisely. There’s an important difference between a description so grounded we feel like we live there and a geography textbook. A chasm of difference separates an all-points bulletin from a character introduction so realistic we expect a handshake. These differences result in engaging, lively scenes or bogged down, potentially confusing prose.
Searching your own work for too much description is a great self-editing tool, beneficial to rookies and veterans alike. Whether you’re sitting down to pen your first novel or revising your seventh, be fortified for the journey ahead by learning how to spot clunky description and how to fix it. In this article, we’ll look at the most common culprits: too many adjectives and physical description.
What’s wrong with being overly descriptive in writing?
It’s easy to think of many writers who are known for luscious description, including J.R.R. Tolkien, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Maggie Stiefvater, and others. Just as some people find certain kinds of furniture uncomfortable, these authors aren’t everyone’s ideal of a go-to read. However, there’s general consensus across the reading community that these authors demonstrate great achievement in this area and the description they use enhances the stories they tell.
The trouble with too much description comes in when the story is obscured by the amount of detail or how the detail is being shared. When you write, the story can only be communicated when your reader understands you. Too much description places a roadblock between you and your reader on three levels: the mechanical (think grammar), emotional, and interpersonal.
What overly descriptive writing looks like
As far as stories with too much description, you might be someone who points back to some of the authors I listed above. However, what I’m talking about is a deeper, more structural problem that impacts your writing at the sentence and paragraph level. Overbearing description of this kind usually comes down to our two usual suspects: adjectives and physical description.
Too many adjectives
Adjectives are wonderful bits of language. English has hundreds of these lovelies that are able to capture an apt description with precision and flavor. Some schools of thought discourage writers from using these, saying to show rather than tell. However, I argue that adjectives do have a place in writing. There is a caveat, however. You must use them sparingly.
Too many adjectives is the sign of a writer trying to show the reader exactly how the character, object, or scene appears. As readers are bombarded with color, style, scent, type, number, length, and a host of other defining adjectives, it’s all too easy to end up with a pile of words that bury the original subject or the main point of the scene. Here’s an example:
The kitchen table she walked past was covered in a dirty, syrup-stained, sticky, plastic red-and-white checkered tablecloth. “We don’t have the rent,” she said, pushing through the eight unwashed mugs and six mismatched glasses with rings of day-old milk cluttering the sink, and every five seconds the broken faucet dripped cloudy, stale-tasting well water onto a stack of brown, food-encrusted plates that had sat there for a week.
Did you read through the whole paragraph? Chances are good that most readers will start skimming when it comes clear that the description has gone past the point of adding more helpful information to the scene. In this fictitious example, some of the description enforces an atmosphere. However, the character is lost in the details.
Heavy physical description
Character description is a great way to build character. Appearance is a strong element of characterization, telling readers a lot about the person with a first impression. However, be sure that you’re only giving the reader what they need rather than overwhelming them with every outstanding feature.
It’s also vital that physical description not interrupt the action. Similar to too many adjectives and subjects, long physical descriptions can bury action.
· A man, about sixty with graying hair, a hook nose like a hawk, and an unkempt beard that straggled almost to his knees and wearing torn and dirty blue jeans over rugged cowboy boots, opened the front door.
Because television is a major way we consume story, it’s tempting to employ its conventions when we create. You see, as we take in film, we simultaneously receive action and physical description. Because we’re so used to this, it can feel strange not to include physical description the very first moment the character enters.
For rookie writers, the temptation to describe every aspect of a new character can be too much, resulting in a literal laundry list of what that person is wearing.
The impact of overly descriptive writing
There are three main effects of too much description in your writing. Any one of these may result in readers losing interest and ultimately putting down your story. Altogether, they create a bottleneck in the reading experience.
Slows readers down
On a grammatical level, too much description—whether in the form of adjectives or physical description—slows readers down. If there is too much to take in, action and pacing are the first casualties. Readers who feel bogged down, especially with details that don’t seem necessary, may be tempted to start skimming to see where the action picks up again.
Prevents connection with characters
On an emotional level, lengthy descriptions can prevent readers from identifying with characters. Contrary to what you might think, and abundance of description doesn’t necessarily create an automatic connection. While we might know a lot about a particular person in terms of what they’re wearing or how they’re described, this doesn’t equate to knowing who they are. Readers can be intrigued by descriptions, and they will look to see how the adjectives work out in characters’ behavior and decisions. We are interested in personality, character.
Demonstrates a lack of trust in the reader
On an interpersonal level, too much description can be interpreted as a lack of trust between the writer and the reader. If you’re overly concerned with conveying exactly how everything looks, feels, sounds, and tastes like, you’re not letting the reader into the world to co-create with you. Writers put a lot of heart into building their worlds, but if readers feel like there is no room for them to explore or wonder, they will feel stifled.
What can you do about a manuscript with too much description?
Don’t despair! There’s no need to take scissors (or the delete key) to your story yet. Identifying long strings of adjectives and lengthy physical descriptions are two great ways to begin.
1. Identify adjectives and physical description
The first place to look for adjectives and physical descriptions is whenever new characters or settings are introduced. It’s natural to want to establish a sense of a person or place, and this is why these scenes are usually thick with too much description.
2. Trim details
Once you identify areas with too much description, you can begin to trim adjectives. Select for the most powerful words. In art, this would be your darkest darks and your lightest lights—the contrasts and values that draw our eye. In writing, this can mean the most vivid, most visceral, most interesting words. More mundane or cliched descriptions could be cut. Always edit with your reader in mind. What aspects would they be most interested to know about? What could they assume?
Trimming doesn’t necessarily mean deleting. Extra description can always be sprinkled into other scenes to add color and texture there.
Feel confident about description in your writing
Description can be one of the best parts of putting words on a page. It can be tough to make a decision about which elements are the most important, especially when you’ve done the work to develop each and every one.
Remember, no work is ever lost.
Even if those particular details are not explicitly mentioned on the page, they will inform and enhance your writing, allowing you to make thoughtful choices about which spices to add in each scene.
If you’re looking for an expert eye on your writing, we can help.
For in-depth polishing of your prose, a line edit can’t be beat! Read more about how a line edit can help take your work to the next level.
Thanks to Andres Perez via Unsplash for the photo!
